Ask yourself ‘who you are’ and when you find the answer be sure to highlight your strengths. Knowing your strengths will get you to go from ‘good to great’. Things become ‘difficult’ and ‘hard’ when you create a ‘mantra’ called ‘life is unfair, life is hard, life is difficult’. Nothing gets better when you moan, complain and focus on ‘what is wrong’ as opposed to ‘what is right’ and ‘what is good’.
It is a massive mistake to inhale and absorb other people’s anxieties and stress. You need to live your life in a way that is true to you and also authentic to your personal values and dreams. I understand that this is sometimes very difficult however there is always a way when you learn to compromise and respect yourself and others. Don’t loose your cool and think about how you can be elegant as opposed to aggressive. Nobody likes a bully so if you are one realise that this behaviour is weak and insecure, and if you are being bullied seek help and direction to get as far away from this negative individual as soon as you can. Ultimately, the only person you can control and change is yourself
Stay focused on your goals and know that the longest journey begins with the smallest steps. If your goals and dreams appear too overwhelming just visualise the first 3 steps that you need to take to achieve them. Then you may want to break the first step down into baby steps, this will make things a lot more manageable for you. Remember, nothing is impossible, do not create barriers that are simply assumptions. When you do this you set yourself up to fail. I think you deserve better. You have potential and your role in this world is to fulfil it. When in doubt seek inspiration from leaders that have faced adversity and have still managed to get through despite the adversity. Do not accept bad behaviour. When one door closes -another one opens. Learn how to respect yourself and you will learn that others start to respect you too. When you change, the world changes around you.
Our mind is not intelligent enough decipher between negative and positive thoughts. Therefore it takes on whatever we give most of our energy to. Question: are you typically feeling negative or positive? Your world will reflect wherever you are in your thoughts. Understand and be very aware of this now. It is essential for your own emotional and mental well being that you encourage seeing the ‘good’ and the ‘positive’ as opposed to the negative. Discourage and eliminate negative emotions, as they do not serve you well. Let what you are grateful for overwhelm what is ‘wrong’. Be thankful for the basic things in life that is a good place to start. Remember, life could be a lot worse.
If you respect and value developing yourself further you will be interested in the fact that I am running a one day Impact Boot Camp on June 25 that will focus on how you can get attuned to yourself, being the best – regardless of what life throws at you. This session will absolutely work on elements of this and previous articles. The intense one-day event will definitely help you get closer to the happiness and fulfilment you deserve. An early bird discount applies to those who book before the end of May and places are filling up fast; so get in touch by emailing email@example.com. Alternatively you may prefer one to one coaching which is a great-bespoke alternative, again do email me for further information. Lastly, I also provide training and development for small, medium and large sized businesses, email me for further information.
If you like my articles and want to stay connected ‘like’ my facebook page: think spa London and follow my on twitter (under the same name). Sending you positive energy, light and peace always, Mamta, Director, Think Spa London.
If you have ever failed at something in your life and you use this as a reason and excuse to not progress then you are creating hurdles and barriers that are unnecessarily hindering your personal growth and progression. Remember there is no ‘reason’ why any failure has to become your terminal illness unless you give it permission and allow it to be. Nothing or no one is perfect, that is an absolute fact. This shouldn’t give you an excuse to operate as mediocre, but should encourage you to stop giving yourself a hard time and start promising that you will be the best you can be regardless of what life throws at you. Life is very short – ask someone who is over the age of 85. So make the most of every second and step out of your comfort zone.
I heard a great quote: ‘Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future’ Denise Waitley. Although it is strongly believed that the past influences our future and can have a profound effect on how we are today – it is important to be very mindful that the past does not equal the future unless we allow it to. We often use the past as a map and blueprint for our future. These parameters are completely fictitious and often restrict our potential and growth.
Our mind is not intelligent enough decipher between negative and positive thoughts. Therefore it takes on whatever we give most of our energy to. Question: are you typically feeling negative or positive? Your world will reflect wherever you are in your thoughts. Understand and be very aware of this now. It is essential for your own emotional and mental well being that you encourage seeing the ‘good’ and the ‘positive’ as opposed to the negative. Discourage and eliminate negative emotions, as they do not serve you well. Let what you are grateful for overwhelm what is ‘wrong’. Be thankful for the basics, that is a good place to start (the five senses, ability to read, roof over your head etc). Remember, life could be a lot worse.
If you have people around you that constantly talk about your issues and encourage you to ‘live in the past’ be aware that that this is hugely unhelpful to your betterment and freedom from issues that make you feel ‘bad’. Choose to be around people who inspire you and who are positive. This will encourage you to have a better, more positive energy about you, which is infectious. Make a decision to better your life and stick to it. Diplomatically distance yourself from people who don’t let you – let go of your past. Stop blaming external sources for your misery and proactively determine what it is going to take for you to move into a better future.
I am running a one day Impact Boot Camp in June and July that will focus on how you can get attuned to yourself, being the best – regardless of what life throws at you. This session will absolutely work on elements of this and previous articles. The intimate one-day event will definitely help you get closer to the happiness and fulfilment you deserve. An early bird discount applies to those who book before the end of May and places are filling up fast; so do get in touch by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org. Alternatively you may prefer one to one coaching which is a great-bespoke alternative, again do email me for further information. Lastly, I also provide training and development for small, medium and large sized businesses, email: email@example.com.
If you like my articles and want to stay connected join my facebook page: think spa London and follow my on twitter (under the same name). My priority is to help you. So if you have any particular subject’s you would like me to write about please feel free to get in touch. Sending you all positive energy, always.
Ask yourself what you are longing for and have a think about whether your life feels fulfilled or not. A lot of people think fulfilment is driving a nice car, living in a nice house or wearing fancy clothes but as a psychologist, from what I have seen, this is not the case. I work with a lot of clients who have everything they could ask for materially, however, when it comes to the spiritual and emotional fulfilment department – there is significant dissatisfaction. Read on to find out the simple steps that you can take to achieve the happiness and fulfilment you deserve.
Firstly, you have to make a commitment or decide that you won’t bother trying to create happiness in your life at all. This sounds harsh, but when you live in a state of limbo, which is neither here nor there, you are always in a place that is negative. There is no gain whatsoever in moaning and complaining about your problems and lifestyle because this achieves nothing but further disappointment with your current reality. Simply create and commit to taking 3 baby steps every day to get closer to the fulfilment you deserve. This immediately sets you up for success and ensures that you are doing something about your current levels of disappointment and are getting closer to where you want to be. Start with very simple things that would be easy to incorporate within your day. For example: take a ten minute walk every morning or evening by yourself to have some ‘me time’, list 10 things that you’re a grateful for, meditate and continue to build on a hobby that you love. All of these activities will start to change your negative energy into positive energy.
If you lack the energy and effort to create a positive turnaround in your life nothing of worth and weight will ever be achieved. If this sounds like you, look in the mirror and really think about the consequences and impact of such thoughts and lack of desire on your life. Every second is a chance to turn it all around and you have all it takes to conjure up the strength to get into the driving seat of your life. Don’t over analyse situations, other people or yourself because when you do you create further hurdles that you have to get over, these thoughts unnecessarily drain your energy. If you are not happy about your current situation think hard about what you can do to progress out of it. Write down twenty-one possible ways of making your life better. It all starts with you and ends with you. No one can give you a pill or plate full of happiness to digest and it is unfair for you to expect this. Expect nothing from anyone but yourself and you will soon start to see just how much control you have over your levels of happiness and fulfilment.
This summer I am running a one day Impact Boot Camp focusing on how you can get attuned to yourself, being the best – regardless of what life throws at you. This session will absolutely work on elements of this and previous articles and will definitely help you get closer to the happiness and fulfilment you deserve. Alternatively you may prefer one to one coaching which is a great-bespoke alternative. If you are interested in finding out more about the type of development solutions and support I offer do get in touch firstname.lastname@example.org.
What is the secret to having a problem free life? This is a common question that I get asked everyday. Unfortunately as a Psychologist I don’t have access to a secret supply of magic wands! However, what I do have are simple reflections that will help you wipe away worries getting you closer to the happiness you deserve.
One reality to accept is that no amount of worrying, guilt or negative emotion will prevent or cure your life’s problems. Before we explore a simple strategy it is fundamental to understand the point above.
The first step is to stop in your tracks and analyse the way you look at the world. Quite simply are you an optimist or pessimist. The key is that you are not more of one then the other, but rather you are a realist. When we are too far on the pessimistic side we can fall into a trap of magnifying our problems. This creates big hurdles to jump over then to top that we may also add bouts of emotion and judgement and before we know it we are faced with mountain to jump over not a molehill!
Negative people constantly use their circumstances as a justification for why they can’t do something. They waste energy discussing how hard life is and do not realise that this pushes them even further away from achieving their goals. Do you complain too much?
Successful people (CEO’s, Directors and Leaders) have problems like us, I have worked with them and seen this repeatedly. The difference is, they refuse to be defeated by keeping their eye on the goal and refuse to allow any obstacles to impede them from what they want. They detach any emotion and refrain from negatively judging the situation or people involved as they know that this is unhelpful to them achieving their goal.
Remember that you create your own experience of things in life. You are the screenwriter. You are the producer, and you are the director of the film called ‘your life’. You write this screenplay every moment of your life with your thoughts, your words, and your behaviour. If you want lots of drama you can have it, if you want an inspiring story with a happy ending, you can have that too. Tap into your power to be stronger than your problems, if you do that you are a winner. The choice is yours.
This summer I am running a one day Impact Boot Camp focusing on how you can get attuned to yourself, being the best – regardless of what life throws at you. If you are interested in finding out more for you, your organisation or want me to come to your city to run this do get in touch email@example.com. Good luck!
1. A big to-do list (work, family, home tec – your list is huge and just thinking about it de-energises you)
-if you look at a massive list achieving everything at once seems impossible. You deflate any motivation as you can struggle to absorb all your tasks at one go. The first thing to do is take 5 minutes to go through each task on your list and letter them in terms of priority- H,M,L (high,medium,low). Then group the tasks in each category. look at each task and break each down by 3 actions that you need to do to complete the task. This helps you to digest each task and realistically helps you to manage achieving each item.
2. Energy sapping friends/family members – those people who drain your energy – exhaust you – what can you do about them?
Firstly, expect nothing from no one. You are in control of your feelings and emotions. If you feel someone is having a negative effect on your energy levels choose exactly how much time, if any, you would like to spend with them. Make time for yourself and do not allow yourself to be bought into conversations that drown your energy. Also you may want to share that you are working hard to stay positive and if they can support you with that by remaining positive in your company, that would be great.
3. Your stuck-in-a-rut routine – every day the same? How to bring variety to your life
Plan to do something different everyday, simple things like paint a picture, write a poem, read a book, go to the movies. This will bring some variety in your routine. Think about what you do enjoy and do more of that. Remember the fastest way of moving backwards is by standing still so take action to do something now as the feeling of frustration will grow if you don’t. Create the change you want to see.
|Mindset is very important when presenting. You have to believe the audience are on your side. Before you present, you must tell yourself that any questions you get from the audience, are coming from a place of ‘wanting to understand’ the content you are presenting and ‘seeing it from their perspective’. If you are already dreading the thought of people asking you questions before you present, you naturally create an uncomfortable anxiousness in yourself, and the audience, people are very quick to pick up and respond to this anxiety.If you stay calm and approach questions in a positive way you keep your audience engaged and maintain your calm and confidence throughout.
When a question is asked, summarise it to yourself, in your mind, and then repeat it back in your own words. By acknowledging the question and paraphrasing it back you let the individual asking the question know that you ‘hear’ what they are saying. This gives you time to process the question and by doing this, you also check your understanding. You are then in a position to share your insights on the question, form an opinion and share your thoughts. For example you may say ‘this is a very interesting stance’, then you have an opportunity to open the question up to the audience. You can then go onto say ‘Does anyone in the audience have some insight on this?’ You are then in a position to ‘pull’ the answers out of the audience and divise your own opinion that you can share with the group.
Mamta Saha in Gulf News
- By Mick O’Reilly, Deputy Managing Editor
- Published: 00:00 February 14, 2011
- Image Credit: Illustration: Niño Jose Heredia/©Gulf News
OK, forgive me, but I’m not in a very loveable mood.
Yes, I know it’s Valentine’s Day and I know I’m supposed to care. But when you get to my stage in life, you begin to realise that this February 14 thing is a bit of a marketing gimmick.
It’s a Hallmark holiday — a reason dreamt up by marketers, restaurants and chocolatiers, aided and abetted by florists — to suck the dirhams from my wallet.
Cynical? Perhaps. A realist? I hope so. Divorced? Yes, and with the lawyer’s bills and emotional scars to prove it.
It’s the busiest day of the year for restaurants. Card shops will be doing a nice little trade. And pity the poor sod who hasn’t picked up roses from the florists. If there’s a stuffed teddy bear left on a shelf by 6pm tonight, it probably has fleas.
Google “Business on Valentine’s Day” and you’ll be bombarded with more hits than Cupid’s got arrows on how to increase your turnover, up your sales and move more product — all in the name of that four-lettered ‘L’ word.
Love? This holiday is about love of money. And the more the merrier.
In the United States, industry research firm IBISWorld expects today to sweeten retail sales, with consumers forecast to spend 5.8 per cent more on Valentine’s Day purchases this year than last, totalling $18.6 billion (Dh68.41 billion) or about $125 per person.
Jewellery sales are anticipated to record strong growth, increasing 11.3 per cent from February 2010, benefiting companies like Tiffany & Co, Sale Corp and Blue Nile.
“Luxury spending is already on the rise, so it will come as no surprise that bracelets, earrings, necklaces and rings will be the go-to gift choice for many Americans,” says IBISWorld retail industry analyst Nicole Panteva. “This year, IBISWorld expects jewellery to make up 7.8 per cent off all Valentine’s Day sales, making its way back to pre-recession levels.”
None of that money will be mine.
Greeting cards and candy — the two staples that define today — are expected to grow steadily as well, increasing 4.9 per cent and 5.1 per cent, respectively. Sweethearts will also be ordering more flowers this year, with about 16.8 per cent growth.
“Instead of going out for a romantic dinner, time-crunched consumers will opt for easy-to-deliver bouquets and arrangements,” Panteva says, adding that because people will be working today, they will browse online and will place orders for same-day delivery.
Dining out is expected to inch up 3.8 per cent, followed by lingerie and clothing purchases at 3.4 per cent.
Just try and get a seat at a restaurant tonight. As Gordon Ramsay swears, if a restaurant can’t pack ‘em it on Valentines Night, there’s something seriously wrong.
Now, you who are smitten, romantic at heart, may be stung by my hard-nosed words. (That’s fine. You are, as the saying goes, blinded by love.)
To test my theory that today is nothing more than a big opportunity to make money, I called Mamta Saha, a lifestyle psychologist in London. She’s a regular psychologist and expert commentator for Logitech, Santander, Sky News, National BBC Radio 5 Live, BBC London, The Asian Network, Talk Sport Radio, Talk Radio Europe and European Radio. She also runs thinkspalondon.com. With a profile such as hers, I was expecting to hear that I was, indeed, a hopeless case.
“Yes,” Saha tells me, “It has become very commercialised to the point where the meaning of the day itself has been lost.”
So I’m not mistaken?
“All you have to do is look at the amount of coupons being offered by restaurants, retailers, anyone with anything remotely linked to Valentines Day with something to sell and they are promoting their business,” she says.
Flood of discounts
There are discount flowers, discount chocolates, discount teddy bears — pretty much even discounted love.
“I think it’s a well known fact that restaurants jack up their prices for Valentines Day to take advantage of couple who want to celebrate their love together,” she says.
“I don’t think that love based on commercialism can last,” Saha tells me. I couldn’t agree more. “I think that’s very superficial and that’s not what love is all about, Any relationship that is based on material and commercial things is superficial. It’s only as good as the money lasts.”
So given the fact that things are tight now as a result of the financial crisis, debts, cutbacks, job losses, are businesses using today as an opportunity to make up sales?
“Absolutely,” she says. “I think the fact that Valentine’s Day is so big shows that every one is trying to cash in on it. The real meaning of Valentines has been lost.”
Saha was married in November. This year, she says, she’ll stay at home and cook her husband a nice romantic meal.
Me? I think Al Capone knew how to mark Valentine’s Day.